Good idea, but...
Story was pretty good, but animation was......well, poor. It is a shame that a good story had to be told along bad animation, but you can always remade it. Make it shorter, better looking, and try to record your voice better, and I am sure it could be as good as Eddsworld shorts.
Representing a box as a white square or girls with letter G is telling me that you were just lazy to draw it properly. I don't know if that is true, but it is just my opinion.
Overall, it was interesting to watch, but next time make it look better.
Practice makes perfect.
I give this cartoon 7 out of 10.